Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Top 10 Linden Myths

1. Lindens have X-Ray vision

This is untrue. Their ability to see you naked has nothing to do with X-Rays.

2. There are only ten Lindens and they rotate through many accounts to make it seem like there are more.

This is untrue. There are over 50 Lindens who cycle through many accounts to make it seem like there are more.

3. Lindens have the ability to turn your avatar into a fish.

This is untrue. Lindens abilities to turn people into other forms of life is limited to changing you to a toad.

4. Lindens put their pants on one leg at a time just like everyone else.

In 2005 this became a myth when FeeFieFoeFanna Linden perfected the first dual legged virtual trouser fitting device (using only four prims!). In 2007 it became a complete impossibility when the official uniform Linden dresscode mandated a nice plaid kilt or skirt.

5. All new Lindens traditionally make a bear to give SL citizens as tokens of goodwill.

The real purpose of the bear making tradition is to provide the existing Lindens with an opportunity to snicker at someone faced with an impossible task and hurl snipes about prims being upside down and warnings that the team might have to get out the 'desuckifier' tool.

6. Lindens hold office hours to keep SL citizens informed, and to solicit opinions about future developments in SL.

The real reason for office hours is to allow them to test new features on you such as the ability to see you naked or turn you into a salamander.

7. Lindens smell like jellyfish

This is highly unlikely, although this is very difficult to confirm. This rumour probably keeps circulating because of the obvious tentacles visible on most Lindens.

8. Lindens must receive a bio implant in order to become a Linden

The bio implant is completely optional for most Lindens. The implant is only required for positions that directly affect grid operation such as LSL execution Lindens, Physics solving Lindens, and of course the Lindens who pedal the generators powering the grid server.

9. Everything that is said in public or private chat is recorded and a secret team of Lindens goes through it all looking for national security concerns and juicy blackmail tidbits.

Hahahah!! This is totally laughable. Seriously.. and I'm not just saying that. Why would I say it was laughable if it wasn't huh? Think about that.. what do I stand to gain by trying to convince you this is not true. So please.. believe me.. I implore you.. don't believe this myth. They can't make people do things against their will using... stuff that should have never been said in the first place.

10. Lindens have no sense of humor.

We'll see. If I dissapear suddenly, it's been fun, and this myth is confirmed.

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