Thursday, September 29, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
What dreams may come. The past three mornings I've been having some death themed dreams. They had some spots of color like red. Colors in dreams represent energy, emotions, and vibes. Before these dreams I wasn't sleeping good at all. One dream was about demons and vampires. The vampires were standing in my closet and then the demons would appear. At one point a vampire and demon became one. They merged because the vampire was in the way. The vampire grew wings, horns, longer teeth and longer claws. He seemed like the ultimate vampire. There was the color red on the demoms. I also had little white mice with wings that would bit. Not a big bite, just a nibble. The mice had wings and if they didn't look so bad, they would be cute. They kepted biting my fingers as if they expected to do a lot of dammage. Demons - To see demons in your dream represent ignorance, negativity, distress or your shadow self. It also forewarns of overindulgence and letting lust give way to your better judgment. As a result, your physical and mental health may suffer. Vampire - To see a vampire in your dream symbolizes seduction and sensuality, as well as fear and death. The vampire represents contrasting images of civilized nobility and aggression/ferocity. It may depict someone in your waking life whose charm may ultimately prove harmful. Deep down inside, you know that this person is bad for you, yet you are still drawn to him or her. Vampires also sometimes relate to decisions about sex and losing your virginity. Alternatively, to see a vampire suggests that you are feeling physically or emotionally drained. The vampire may also be symbolic of someone who is addicted to drugs or someone in an obsessive relationship. White - White represents purity, perfection, peace, innocence, dignity, cleanliness, awareness, and new beginnings. You may be experiencing a reawakening or have a fresh outlook on life. Alternatively, white refers to a clean, blank slate. Or it may refer to a cover-up. In Eastern cultures, white is associated with death and mourning. First consider what that single color in your dream means to you and your own personal associations and relationship with that color. In general, pale pastel colors indicate weakness or subtlety. Dark colors represent passion and intensity. Bright colors mean awareness. Mice - To see mice in your dream indicates that you are spending too much time dwelling on minor problems and insignificant matters. Red - Red is an indication of raw energy, force, vigor, intense passion, aggression, power, courage, impulsiveness and passion. The color red has deep emotional and spiritual connotations. Consider the phrase "seeing red" to denote anger. Alternatively, the color red in your dream indicates a lack of energy. You are feeling tired or lethargic. Red is also the color of danger, violence, blood, shame, rejection, sexual impulses and urges. Perhaps you need to stop and think about your actions. There is some negative stuff I'm going through right now. Feelings of loss, abandoness, confusion. Been feeling bad for a while. The next night I had a dream about zombies. Driving around the Hollywood hills, a swampy area, running down zombies, in the rain. I ended up in a Scooby Doo type house killing purple zombie cats with a mace on a chain. By the end I had a mace on a stick. The cats had a purple ish color to them. Dead - To see the dead in your dream forewarns that you are being influenced by negative people and are hanging around the wrong crowd. This dream may also be a way for you to resolve your feelings with those who have passed on. Alternatively, the dream symbolizes material loss. If you dream of a person who has died a long time ago, then it suggests that a current situation or relationship in your life resembles the quality of that deceased person. The dream may depict how you need to let this situation or relationship die and end it. To see and talk with your dead parents in your dreams represent your fears of losing them or your way of coping with the loss. You are using your dream as a last opportunity to say your final good-byes to them. Driving - To dream that you are driving a vehicle signifies your life's journey and your path in life. The dream is telling of how you are moving and navigating through life. If you are driving and cannot see the road ahead of you, then it indicates that you do not know where you are headed in life and what you really want to do with yourself. You are lacking direction and goals. Similarly, to dream that you are driving at night suggests that you are unsure of where you are headed in life. You are experiencing obstacles toward your goals. Perhaps you do not want to see what is ahead for you or you are afraid to confront certain issues. You may be feeling apprehensive about the future. If your view is blocked or obstructed while you are driving, then it symbolizes your lacking awareness of something in your life. You are overlooking certain aspects in your life. Alternatively, the dream indicates dangers or problems that are not yet made known to you. If you are driving on a curvy road, then it indicates that you are having difficulties in achieving your goals and accepting the changes associated with it. Metaphorically, driving a car in your dream is analogous to your sex life and sexual performance. Consider how you are driving and what kind of car you are driving and how it relates to your waking sex life. Or the dream may be a pun on your "drive" or ambition. Magenta Magenta represents kindness and compassion. You are ready to come out of some dark time. Purple Purple is indicative of devotion, healing abilities, loving, kindness, and compassion. It is also the color of royalty, high rank, justice, wealth and dignity. Mauve To see the color mauve in your dream, indicates that you need to clear you mind of negative thoughts and think more positively. Carcass To see a carcass in your dream indicates that you are feeling emotionally torn. You feel that you are literally being ripped apart. Car To dream that you are driving a car denotes your ambition, your drive and your ability to navigate from one stage of your life to another. Consider how smooth or rough the car ride is. If you are driving the car, then you are taking an active role in the way your life is going. However, if you are the passenger, then you are taking a passive role. If you are in the backseat of the car, then it indicates that you are putting yourself down and are allowing others to take over. This may be a result of low self-esteem or low self-confidence. Overall, this dream symbol is an indication of your dependence and degree of control you have on your life. Armored Cars Armoured Cars Amored Trucks Amoured Trucks To see or drive an armored car in your dream suggests that you are feeling insecure about the progress you have made so far in life. Perhaps you feel that you are not measuring up to others. You are building a protective barrier or emotional wall around yourself. Alternatively, the dream means that you need to be careful of your spending and that you need to protect your finances. Cat - To see a cat in your dream symbolizes an independent spirit, feminine sexuality, creativity, and power. It also represents misfortune and bad luck. The dream symbol has different significance depending on whether you are a cat lover or not. The cat could indicate that someone is being deceitful or treacherous toward you. If the cat is aggressive, then it suggests that you are having problems with the feminine aspect of yourself. If you are afraid of the cat in your dream, then it suggests that you are fearful of the feminine. The dream may be a metaphor for "cattiness" or someone who is "catty" and malicious. If you see a cat with no tail, then it signifies a loss of independence and lack of autonomy. To dream that a cat is biting you symbolizes the devouring female. Perhaps you are taking and taking without giving. You may be expressing some fear or frustration especially when something is not going as planned. If you dream that a cat is scratching you, then it suggests that you are feeling threatened. The thrid night, this morning, I had a dream with my mother and a neighbor. The neighbor had moved from my street years ago and had parents that died of cancer. My mother was putting out three small boxes in the driveway and setting them on fire. The boxes would start smoking with neon orange and neon green. My neighbor said they were digging up the remains and re buring the remains in the ground. Green Green signifies a positive change, good health, growth, fertility, healing, hope, vigor, vitality, peace, and serenity. The appearance of the color may also be a way of telling you to "go ahead". Alternatively, green is a metaphor for a lack of experience in some task. Yellow The color yellow has both positive and negative connotations. If the dream is a pleasant one, then the color yellow is symbolic of intellect, energy, agility, happiness, harmony, and wisdom. On the other hand, if the dream is an unpleasant one, then the color represents deceit, disgrace, betrayal, cowardice and sickness. You have a fear or an inability to make a decision or to take action. Your desire to please others is at the risk of sacrificing your own needs and happiness. As a result, you are experiencing many setbacks. Smoke To see smoke in your dream indicates some sort of trouble that is entering your life. You are suffering from confusion and anxiety. In particular, if the smoke is black, then it means that you are not seeing some situation or problem clearly. In my life I feel that I've lost my way. My mother has demintia and will never come back from it. My brother keeps telling me how he may not live long. I don't know what choices I should make in my life and am afraid to make a choice about anything. Scared that it may be the wrong choice. Scared about getting a job and moving out of the house that I've always known for years. Can't seem to take the leap into the unknown. I've been making others happy and not myself. I've been thinking negative thoughts lately. Some part of me is willing to move on but I don't know how. Dream Moods.com http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdictionarysearch.pl?method=exact&header=dreamsymbol&search=demon
Sunday, September 11, 2011
On Aug of '09 my rl mother was diagnosed with dementia a form of alzheimer's disease. I had been taking care of her up until February of this year when she had a UTI, a urinary tract infection, and was sent to the hospital. She stayed for a week and was released to a care center not far from me. She remains there today as I can not take care of her at home anymore. Today, I am currently looking for a job and new place to live as I have to give up my mother's house to keep her where she is. Currently I am looking for work and a new place to live. For 20 something years my mother had owned and run a very successful in home business designing monuments or tombstones. Now she lays in a bed not knowing whats going on around her. There will come a time when I won't be in sl if at all. So if you do see me in world, just know I'm working things out and need some something whatever that may be. It's been a good five years of fun, fur and friends. In the coming months and years I will keep up the blog posting rl stuff, sl stuff and medical stuff. Let's all hope for a cure of some sort and a better tomorrow.
Friday, September 2, 2011
In a e-mail sent to me: "Dear customers, friends and users!! Time has come, where we need to take a different path. This has been a lovely journey, we had the pleasure of meeting several great people and learn about this awesome industry. Sadly we dont have the time and energy to keep working on RPW as before, that's why we decided to close it or sell it if someone wants to make a fair offer. We will be shutting down the servers around the 23rd of September 2011, so we encourage you to do Backups, and export your builds, cancel orders and subscriptions before that date. We are warning you with enough time so you can backup all your objects. We want to say thanks to all of you, for following us on this journey, we may see you again on this path! Regards RPW Core Team" Sad to say, I never could log into that grid.